Vital tips for successfully separating from or divorcing your partner

How a divorce coach can set you on the right path to a successful journey to the next stage of your life.

Vital tips for successfully separating from or divorcing your partner

Are you feeling confused, frustrated, angry, and hurt in your relationship? Are you at a point where everything your spouse does bothers you? Do you feel that your spouse just doesn’t do anything right anymore? Are you feeling that your relationship requires so much work that you are exhausted from trying? Does even the thought of sex with your partner cause you mixed feelings? Have your positive happy feelings about your relationship started to be replaced with resentment? Hurt?

When I was struggling to decide whether or not to end my 16-year marriage, I desperately wished I could talk to someone who knew what I was going through, and who could help me figure out where to start. I now know that person is called a certified divorce coach.

A divorce coach is someone who works as part of your team in the collaborative divorce process. They work alongside your lawyer to help you understand the components of the divorce process. Divorce coaches support you to learn and practise effective communication skills, so that you can have your feelings and interests heard by the members of your legal team.

A divorce coach can:

• Guide you in seeking and understanding legal advice. Whether you have already found a lawyer or are wondering if you need one, a divorce coach can help you make the decision, find a lawyer who is a good fit for you, and understand “legalese.” They will listen to your personal situation and give you objective advice about where to go, based on where you are. Coaching advice is not legal advice, but it can help you understand legal advice, in a much more cost-effective manner.
• Listen to your venting, anger, frustration, and fears in a supportive, non-judgemental way. A divorce coach will help you focus your emotional energy into positive action that will move you forward on your journey to a new life.
• Help you get and stay organized. Going through a divorce is a lot of work, leaving you emotionally overwhelmed and exhausted. A lot of information needs to be collected and presented to your legal team. A divorce coach can help you understand what information you need and why you need it, and help you put it all together in a timely way, to keep your divorce moving along effectively.

Now that you know where to start, contact a collaborative divorce coach to set you on the right path to a successful journey to the next stage of your life. Click here for a listing of all the professionals trained in the Collaborative Process in Alberta, or ask your lawyer for a referral.

Teri Bonnah was a registered nurse, certified professional coach, certified counsellor, and registered collaborative professional.  Becoming a coach was a natural extension to her background in health care and counselling, and she was helping others in this capacity up until her passing. She was an inspiration for those that sought her help and a voice of reason for people who needed guidance. Her words of encouragement will be sadly missed.