Gay, Patricia E.

Since I was called to the Bar in 1989, my principal area of practice has been Family Law. I also do some real estate, and prepare wills and other estate documents.

My Family Law practice taught me that the litigation arena is probably the worst place to resolve family issues. It left clients unhappy, and they often complained that they had not been heard. I began to envision a system where the parties would come in and, if they were ready to sit down and mediate, that would happen. If they were still struggling with the breakdown of the relationship, then they might need some counselling before they could move into mediation. Where complex financial issues were on the table, they might need the services of someone who could assist in that area.

My personal experience reinforced this. My “ex” and I were pioneers in “joint parenting” back in the mid-80s before it was the norm. So, when I heard about Collaborative Law I jumped at the chance to get involved with like-minded lawyers who welcomed collaboration with other professionals and the chance to engage in a process that is more productive than litigation.

Why have I been involved in Collaborative Law practice for 15 years – more than half my legal career? I strongly believe that the Collaborative approach benefits clients going through separation and divorce. These are among the most stressful events that families go through, both emotionally and financially. When two people try to resolve a dispute by determining who is right, they get stuck. Collaborative Practice can get them “unstuck” by turning the focus of their interaction to the interests, needs and concerns that are underlying each of their “positions.”

Collaborative Practice encourages and supports families in their transition from a family living in one household to a family where the parents will be living in separate households. I strive to restore as much as possible a measure of communication and trust between the parties. Collaborative Practice allows the parties to maintain control of both their agreement and the outcome. This results in a far more stable and long- lasting agreement, which benefits both the children and the adults as they move forward with their lives.

In my approach to practice, I want to give clients a sense of hope and renewal, and to help them understand that, while their family will look different, it will still be a family. That’s why I’m committed to doing my best to offer my clients the option of Collaborative Practice, so I can serve my clients and their families as well as I can.